Saturday, October 25, 2014

5 Things you might not know about special needs parenting.

5 Things you might not know about special needs parenting

      We are tired.They have full days. Every ounce of energy is spent taking care of our special needs child. On top of it we will need to hold out home together. If you come over to my house right now it is defiantly not spotless I do clean with what little time I have during the day to do so. I' m tired and sometimes just need to use that time during the day to sleep and rejuvenate my mind. I' m going 100 miles an hour everyday trying to work schedules and keep things together. Handling 3 kids is a Job! When 2 of them are special needs it makes it that much harder.

    We aren't withdrawing. Sometimes people will ask us out or ask us to come over with the kids. While we appreciate the invitation its not quite that simple to do things like that. We need a lot of time to prepare for our adventures. And even when we think we are the most prepared family in the world things go wrong. We could have planned all week to go grocery shopping with the kids and get to the store,  it could turn out to be a bad day for our son with sensory processing disorder and autism so we are rushed or end up leaving before she are finished. A lot people around me will say just keep taking them you will "desensitize" him to it and eventually all his sensory processing will be "normal" Well thank you for your input but my child isn't going to be cured by desensitizing him to everything. And my daughters anxieties in public places isn't going to vanish. There are things that happen in department stores you can not prepare for. When you leave the nice stable environment of your house everything is unpredictable. 

Our abnormal is our normal. We know nothing of atypical normality. What we encounter in our everyday lives is what we see as our normal. I have had people come over and say "What is he/she doing?" Why are you letting them do that?"  I could tell it wasn't out of curiosity, it was a "Why are you allowing them to do it" thing. I used to let my son jump all over my furniture and sleep in a pack-n-play playpen. I did these things because they were things he needed at the time and I didn't have the resources to buy the OT equipment for my house that he needed. because of his sensory processing disorder, he didn't like to sleep in a normal bed and he had a need to jump all the time. He still has that need to jump all the time but since then we have got things such as a trampoline, and a crash pad for him to use. but sometimes he doesn't want to use them. I still let him jump on the couch because the couch doesn't feel the same as a crash pad. And maybe the couch is what he needs so I let him have it.

Would we change them if we could? Of course I don't want my child to be special needs. I wouldn't want for anybody's child to be special needs. There is a lot more judgement when they are to both them and you. But with that said I also don't know them any other way then how they are. SO would I personally want to change them, No! These are my children and I believe they were made this way for a reason and who am I to want to change that.  There were times in the beginning when I felt like "Why did this happen to me?" Its kind of like mourning the child that you thought you would have. Everyone has this picture in your head of how things are supposed to be. When you have a special needs child that gets thrown right out the window and you are literally forced to open your mind up to things you thought were impossible. They open your minds. 

Staring hurts. As if we don't already feel like outcasts already, getting the stare down when your child is acting out is the worst. Sometimes they aren't even acting out, it could be my son trying to make speech sounds and because his look tells you he should be an atypical 3 year old but he speaks like a baby, people stare. Or when he rocks to sooth himself while hes standing, People look like "whats wrong with him" It makes me want to curl up and cry sometimes. My child didn't do anything to deserve to be an outcast and he works so hard everyday to be the person he is today. I'm sorry if hes not living up to society standards but he is living up to mine. I don't mind other children coming up and asking me whats wrong with my son because they need not be shadowed from it. Maybe explaining to them how he is will make them understand, and be kinder. Our children learn how to act from watching us so if you are judgmental so will your kids.

There are a ton of other things you might not know but we will save that for another time :) Im off to buy some  Corelle dishes to try to stop the plate shattering that happens at my house almost daily.
Thanks for stopping by :)


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