Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Daily School Report 3/4/15 - Struggle for Attention

Today was a pretty stressful day for me anxiety wise. I had to drive into the city which I don't like doing it sets me into panic mode every time, to take Jasmine to meet her new counselor she will see at school. It's not a school counselor, just a normally counselor who does the services at the school where Jasmine goes to. The first appointment needed to be done at her office, it's ok though I need exposures like that to get better. Normal I would have had my mom ride with me, when I'm in the car one of my biggest fears is going somewhere and getting lost then not being able to get home, Some might say it's impossible to get lost in today's world. Even my rational self would say that too, but once my anxiety rises that far its like I have no control over my thought process at all. My thoughts race, then I get into full panic. I didn't have a panic attack today though, My anxiety was pretty high, but I made it there and got to chill out for about 45 minutes again before getting back into the car.

I think Jasmine liked this counselor though. She needs someone outside of the house to talk to about her problems. It's completely secret that way. As a parent, I don't worry about not knowing either, sometimes I know there will be things she cants say to me. I'm just glad she can have some sort of outlet. There were some goals set. One was that she would be more respectful to her parents and learn to have respect when she speaks to us. Also that she would learn more about her brother and why his needs are what they are. Along with learning how to calm herself down emotionally before she reacts. These are issues we have had with Jasmine since she was little. While some may look at her and think she is just a spoiled brat, I look at her and see the attention she needs and wants. We do give her attention and lots of it, but she doesn't understand even though we have tried really hard to explain to her why Dylan has people come over to the house all the time. She just sees it as we love him more or something, which isn't the case and we have told her that. It coming from us though doesn't mean anything to her, if the view comes from someone outside of the picture entirely she might start to understand, that just because Dylan needs to have more services and doctors and whatever else, doesn't mean that we love her any less.

This is a really common issue that happens with siblings of special needs children. It happens even with Children who are not a member of a special needs family. Did you know that with most first born children, like Jasmine was the first born in our family, If they are the only child for 5 years or more, it is extremely common to develop an adjustment disorder. With adjustment disorders you with see, depression, children who were completely happy and full of life before with act totally, not themselves. Also, another common thing to look for is jealousy and a change in temperament. I notice Jasmine got really sad when Dylan was born and I took her to see a doctor right away. There is nothing wrong with seeking help for our children and as parents we should never feel ashamed of it either. I know when I first started getting help for Jasmine I was ashamed. I felt like what kind of mother could I be if she would rather talk to someone else about how she feels about her brother than me. I found out that she thought some things she was thinking would make me sad or like her less. Eventually after talking to her first counselor she started to tell me some of the things she would tell her.
I guess my point is all parents should seek help where needed, as much as we like to think we are Super Parents, we all need a little help sometimes. Whether it be for this reason or some other reason just reach out your hand and there will be someone there willing to take it.

I'm just going to do the highlights of  Dylan's day at school today. Not the usual whole sheet sent home from his teacher. I did get a sheet, but I'm on my laptop right now which I'm really not used to using yet and being lazy to try to figure it out LOL. So Dylan's therapist put him on the bus today, my mom was here but as I have said before in previous posts my mother has it out for Dylan's OT because she thinks Dylan doesn't like her, and, therefore, my mother doesn't like her. Dylan did a great job today with requesting objects with pictures. He independently picks the right picture for his bottle when offered 2 different pictures. Dylan gave a great effort on his fine motor skills today. They also had a tornado drill today, Dylan's teacher says he did very well with that, gym class and the library. He also ate at snack and lunch.

At home, we are trying to make ourselves less scary by allowing Dylan to play with a empty bowl and spoon while sitting in a chair next to us. Sometimes he will lick the spoon like this, though at home when there is food inside of his dish and we offer it to him he just cries, he can tolerate sitting at the table now to at least drink his bottle. I am also noticing when all gates are down, and the children are roaming freely from Dylan's room to kitchen and living room, if Dylan is hungry sometimes he doesn't cry. He will sit in the chair all by himself even if the booster seat isn't inside the chair, he will just climb in there and wait. Maybe he just likes that chair? I'm not sure, but I keep pairing the table with food and his cup eventually he will know what is done at the kitchen table. I do think that while in a full fit it is hard to teach a kid something, even a typical child will take little from an experience if they are having a tantrum. I like to keep Dylan calm so he doesn't pair a bad experience with things I want him to do and when he does it I give him praises so he knows I like what he is doing. I'm hoping for more progress with this soon at home, but I'm excited about the progress he has already made to at school and at home.

Well, Thanks for stopping by, I know I got a little long winded tonight, I do that sometimes hehe. Stop back soon :)

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