Sunday, October 12, 2014

Life as I know it #1

    The Idea behind this series I'm going to be writing over a long period of time is to let everyone get to know me as a person, Where I come from and how I got to this point. I'm a blog reader as well and often find myself wondering how did this person get here and how was it like before they got to this point. I'm not gonna write a whole "bible" about myself like I was born and then blah blah blah, but just how this family I hope you enjoy reading about and sharing our experiences came to be. So with that said here we go..... 

    When I was 17 years old, I became pregnant with my first child Jasmine. While I was by no means ready to become a mother I knew I made the best decision by my beliefs , which was to keep her as she was my baby and raised her the best way I knew how. I made this decision before speaking to anyone and I was totally avoiding my mother. I knew her reaction was not going to be good. I was already not living at home, I moved out when I was 15. I had no job and neither did my boyfriend, but for some reason I knew we'd make it work. The first person I told was my dad, who I rarely talk to anyway so I knew it would be easy to tell him. His reaction was exactly what I thought it would be, a long period of silence followed by a does your mom know. Which she didn't so he just directed me to tell her. I actually do not know how my mom found out but she showed up where I was making the phone call from to my dad and immediately started yelling at me. Asking me questions like what are you going to do with a baby you don't even have your life together yourself. I simply told her I'd figure it out. And that's exactly what Joe and me did we started figuring it out.

Like I said before neither of us had a job we lived with one of his family members. We had no car and no way to get anywhere. We ended up asking Joey's best friend if we could stay with her in a small town where there were a few jobs we could possibly get. Everywhere in this town was walking distance from a place where you could work the problem was getting the job. Joe put in applications everywhere and I tried but 6 months pregnant and 17 who's going to hire you. Joe got a call back pretty quickly from a factory almost everybody in this town works at. It took about 2 months to save to get our own place. We did it, we got a two bedroom apartment two blocks away from his work. There were some technical issues the manager found where she said I wasn't able to stay there with Joe. Because I was not yet 18 but Joe was over 18 we couldn't legally live together in the same apartment if we weren't married.

      Now I don't think either one of us were ready to get married, but we knew that we wanted to stay together and raise our baby together and not be separated. So we decided to ask my mom if she would sign the papers for us to get married and she did. I don't think it was that hard for her to do, her whole problem with me and Joe having a baby together was that we weren't married. It wasn't very long after that we actually got married. We didn't have a big fancy wedding, I didn't really want to I was about 8 months pregnant and we didn't really have the money to. Getting married in front of a judge in a courthouse was just fine by me. So that's what's we did!

     Living on my own for 2 years without my mom I think helped me adjust well to having our own place. It wasn't really that hard, grant you we had a lot to learn about paying bills and managing money but I think we did just fine. We didn't have anything extra just enough to pay rent and consumers. And we knew enough then to know bills come first and everything else comes second.
We didn't really have anything for the baby, no one really offered to throw me a baby shower and I didn't ask anyone to. I was so thankful when my aunt showed up on my doorstep with baskets full of gifts for me and the baby. To be honest she was the last person I thought would show up to help me. I don't really have any reasoning behind thinking that beside I kind of thought everyone was just like she's done this to herself and now she can deal with it herself. I don't think that she really supported me at the age I was to become a mother, but she just wanted to help because no one else really was and for that I will forever be grateful.

      It wasn't very long after that and I went into labor. My mom, Joe and me were there and I was super scared. My mom and Joe we're freaking out and nervous probably more nervous than I was. I didn't take any classes prepare myself for this and I was unsure of everything. Again my aunt showed up and helped me through it. I told her I was scared, and she told me it was alright to be scared that what I was doing was a scary thing for anyone. Just her telling me it was alright to be scared helped me a ton, because when I felt scared I felt like I was failing already and the baby wasn't even here yet. I wasn't really asking questions before she said that, even though I didn't know what I was doing I didn't want to look stupid. 15 minutes after she told me that I turned to the nurse and said when is it time to push , she told me I would know I would feel it. Now I think I asked the nurse because I was already feeling different, so right after I asked her I told her I think I need to push now. Only took about 40 minutes pushing and Jasmine was here.

I haven't decided how often I would put out one of these posts, it could be more then once daily or it could be days between we will just have to see. 
Until next time


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